I just spent a couple of weeks in my new art studio working on a painting I ended up not liking very much.
But here’s the thing – the ‘it’ wasn’t what mattered.
Don’t get me wrong, I’d really have loved to produce something I’m proud of, especially as I was filming and sharing the process.
The technique was something that’s really new to me – in that I’ve worked in this way only in brief spurts. I consider myself a complete beginner.
Yet, what I’m not a beginner at is the practice itself.
The practice of trusting the process to lead me somewhere I need to go.
The practice of trusting the process to be useful to others, if I shared it.
The practice of showing up and trying something, knowing that it might fail.
The practice of taking part in an activity that will shift some of the stuff that lies deep within and holds me back from being an artist.
I found it difficult and enjoyable, exhilarating and frustrating and although the outcome is a painting I’ll definitely cover up entirely and turn into something completely new, it wasn’t a waste of time.
It’s all part of the creative process and it isn’t something you can spend your time reading about or learning from other folk (though the skills are definitely something I could benefit from learning more formally.)
What it is, is practice.
There’s no substitute for doing – feeling, thinking, hoping, wishing, they’re part of the process, yes, but not the practice.
The practice is in the doing. Being creative is a verb. I remember reading Patti Digh’s book with that title way back in the beginning of my creative renaissance.
I’d do well to keep remembering that as I learn again to experiment, to play and to be of service in the mysterious ways that seem to be my particular way of being.
Perhaps it’s a wee reminder that will serve you well today.
Julie, Thank you for sharing. Might I suggest you not cover it over too fast ….put it aside….hide it away … whatever works for you in the “not liking it” phase. It still may have something to say to you (and you to it!). You might not know it yet. We don’t have to like everything about our practice or even about ourselves, nonetheless the “not liking” can be a doorway into something else. Stay in conversation with it. At least take a photo. I’m sending these friendly thoughts & feelings from the east coast of the US …central New Jersey with affection from one artist to another. Eleni
Good point!
Dear Julie,
Thank you for your inspiring email today to visit your blog. I too have been struggling with even getting started on your Mandala Magic Alignment Course, which I was so looking forward to doing and still am. So thank you, for your words of wisdom.
And as Eleni said above, wait a little in the “pause” there maybe something being offered that we don’t yet see.
I know that when I turned my head round and looked again at your painting, I saw two beautiful blackbirds flying across your sky offering gifts of white fruit berries.
So just by expressing your thoughts and feelings about your practice has helped immensely! Hoping to feel renewed, but as always inspired by your openness, sense of welcome and kindness.
Lots of love melissa xx
Julie – thank you for this sharing. It is an important teaching for all of us to remember it is not the finished product but the creating and experimenting that is our joy (or challenge). What I remember most when I was new to,mandalas you emphasized the sacredness of what we were doing. You came to one process in the early early morning and lit a candle. With that we had added the music – and you’ve suggested using water from an important well or creek or river.(or willow bark) and we blessed the supplies and the papers. I am returning to that beginning, it is what another called building a bridge into the studio. I have to admit I do learn from what didn’t work out and I’m grateful you have shared when the art didn’t turn out as you had hoped. That gives us all permission to admit to the same. (I too hope you’ll hang on to your recent painting for awhile) thank you Julie
Well, wow. I didn’t realize I needed this today. I just journaled about how I’m afraid to start this new project because it might not turn out exactly how I expect and I really didn’t want to “fail”… I definitely needed this reminder to reframe the challenge as practice, and giving up the desire of result for just the journey of creating.
“Being creative is a verb. ” That line…. Just the nudge I needed to hear. It is too easy to put ourselves, and our creativity, at the end of the line of priorities. Your approach to this work, in sharing your experience, and guiding vs. instructing, is invaluable. Thank you Julie!!
I LOVE this painting.
Sell it or give it away to someone who will appreciate it.
If it doesn’t grow corn for you, maybe it will for someone else.