To be read. To be heard. To be seen. I want to be read, I want to be heard.
Here I am showing up. Showing up and doing what I’m supposed to do to let you know I’m here. Giving you something you can recognise, turn over in your head and transform into your own thoughts, your own actions. Something that allows your humanity to connect with mine. To complete a circle whereby we can perform an exchange of energy.
I don’t want to be seen. To write requires an ego, a belief that what you say matters.
But what if I don’t have anything to say? Should I still show up? Do I still need to offer you up a crumb of hard-fought-for wisdom or something I pull out from a maelstrom of brain randomness?
Words fly out our mouths like threatened birds. Once released, they may never return.
I wrote a few blog posts this weekend. Well, I constructed them in my head, as you do. Whilst showering, whilst mulling over my coffee, whilst journaling at 2am. Determined to show up consistently. To give good blog.
But those words, every single one of them, has been set free. The words have flown.
This is all that’s left. This is all I have to share with you today.
* all quotes are extracted from When Women Were Birds: Fifty-four Variations on Voice
Blogging is very strange sometimes, isn’t it? Often, really. I have come very close over the last six months to deciding to stop, then keep coming back to it… yet still think there is a different way I want to find… is it softer and more fluid, or simpler and just the content, less of the narrative round about. Although it is the round about parts that reveal our human edges and failings – and allow us to make these sweet connections 🙂
It is very strange, yes Joanna! I’ve been doing it badly since 2006. I was never very good at it – then or now. And yet, I’d recommend everyone do it, everyone give it a shot.
I think there’s room for the round about parts and what ever content we want. After all, we’re not straight forward at all, are we? xo
I can relate to every word! My problem is a reluctance to pour myself out to the public – exactly that – “to be seen”.
Guess it’s obvious most feel the same, it’s just nice to read it.
Recognising our self through others. Getting to know our self and others. I think that’s what we do best via this strange online world, Erin 🙂 xo
Hi Julie
Thanks again for showing up and sharing – it means a lot – I feel the same, but I go ahead and blog anyway (I’ve only just started) – sort of ‘fake it till you make it’.
As for ego, I love this quote shared by Stargardener on the Anatomy of a Page course:
‘Creative work is not a selfish act or a bid for attention on the part of the actor. It’s a gift to the world and every being in it. Don’t cheat us of your contribution. Give us what you’ve got.’ ~Steven Pressfield
Don’t you love it when you get the right message at the right time? This was so right for me the day I read it. So give us what you’ve got – keep sharing…
Rachel
How perfectly perfect, Rachel ♥ Thanks for lending your support!